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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

SAD SAD NEWS

SAD NEWS

DEAR FRIENDS,

IT IS WITH THE SADDEST HEART I PASS ON THE FOLLOWING; PLEASE JOIN ME IN
REMEMBERING A GREAT ICON-THE VETERAN PILLSBURY SPOKESMAN, THE PILLSBURY
DOUGHBOY DIED YESTERDAY OF A YEAST INFECTION AND COMPLICATIONS FROM REPEATED
POKES IN THE BELLY. HE WAS 71. DOUGHBOY WAS BURIED IN A LIGHTLY GREASED
COFFIN. DOZENS OF CELEBRITIES TURNED OUT TO PAY THEIR RESPECT, INCLUDING
MRS. BUTTERWORTH, HUNGRY JACK, THE CALIFRONIA RAISINS, BETTY CROCKER, THE
HOSTESS TWINKIES, AND CAPTAIN CRUNCH. THE GRAVE SITE WAS PILED HIGH WITH
FLOURS, AS LONGTINE FRIEND, AUNT JEMIMA DELIVERED THE EULOGY,DESCRIBING
DOUGHBOY AS A MAN WHO NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH HE WAS KNEADED.

DOUGHBOY ROSE QUICKLY IN SHOW BUSINESS, BUT HIS LATER LIFE WAS FILLED WITH
TURNOVERS. HE WAS NOT CONSIDERD A VERY 'SMART' WASTING MUCH OF HIS DOUGH,
ON HALF BAKED SCHEMES. DESPITE BEING A LITTLE FLAKY AT TIMES, HE EVEN STILL ,
AS A CRUSTY OLD MAN, WAS CONSIDERED A ROLL MODEL FOR MILLIONS, TOWARD THE END IT WAS
THOUGHT HE WOULD RISE AGAIN, BUT ALAS, HE WAS NO TART.

DOUGHBOY IS SURVUVED BY HIS WIFE, PLAY DOUGH, TWO CHILDREN, JOHN DOUGH, AND
JANE DOUGH, PLUS THEY HAD ONE IN THE OVEN. HE IS ALSO SURVIVED BY HIS ELDERY FATHER,
POP TART.

THE FUNERAL WAS HELD AT 3:50 FOR ABOUT
TWENTY MINUTES.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

I had a great big laugh over this one!
Mary