Friday, March 13, 2009

The meanest Mother in the world

The Meanest Mom Author UnknownI had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal and eggs and toast. When other kids had cokes and french fries for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. But at least I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My 5 sisters and one brother had the same mother I did.
My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd have thought we were on a chain gang! She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing. If we said we'd be gone for an hour, she insisted that it not be an hour and five minutes. I am really ashamed to admit it, but she even slapped us, not once, but each time we did as we pleased. Can you imagine -- striking a child just because we disobeyed?
The worst is yet to come ... We had to be in bed by nine each night and up early the next morning. We couldn't sleep until noon like our friends -- in fact, our mother broke the child labor law by making us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook, and all sorts of exhausting jobs. I believe she laid awake nights thinking up mean things to do to us seven kids. Also, she always insisted upon our telling the truth, even if it killed us -- and sometimes it nearly did.
By the time we were teen-agers, our lives became more unbearable. There was none of this tooting the horn of the car for us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and our friends come to the door to get us. I forgot to mention that while our friends were dating at twelve and thirteen, my old-fashioned mother refused to let us date until we were sixteen ... that is, if we dated only to go to school functions and to church services.
As you can see, my mother was a complete failure. None of us has ever been arrested, or beaten by our mates. My brother served his time in the service of his country. Look at all the things we missed! We never go to march in a protest parade, nor take part in a riot, burn draft cards, and a million and one other things that our friends did. And whom have we to blame? That's right == our mean mother. She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults.
It is with this background that I have now become a mother. When my children call me mean, I stand a little taller and I'm filled with pride. You see, I can thank God for the Meanest Mother in the whole world, and I want to be just like her.