Meet Dallas

So, sorry I have not been bloggin'. I have been sick with the stomach bug. Then after I got over that the doctor put me on some meds that upset my stomach even more! Ouch!!!!

But anyways, on for my good news!

Neil has always had a soft spot for dogs and especially Chocolate Labs. So, to our surprise the Pensacola Humane Society had a 6 month old Chocolate Lab. His name is Dallas! He is a playful and energetic puppy. But the best way to describe him is SPASTIC!!! He is all over the place. Here, there and everywhere!!! After about 30 minutes of Emillie and I playing with him, I couldn't possibly leave him behind. Could you?

Without further ado.... Meet our newest member of the family. We will keep his name Dallas. He seems to love everyone but he has found a special place in Neil's heart already! They went shopping at Petsmart to buy some essentials! $188.66 later I think we got most everything from toys to food and dishes, this dog is already spoiled!

My wooden Letter

So in my altered art group we create many fun crafts to decorate our art space and house. Ria Cabral started a swap for decorating a 9" wooden letter according to your partners' interest. I asked Debi Green to decorate my letter with pandas. She created a letter that was not only great but so perfectly me!!! Thanks DEBI

I made one for her as well. She asked me to decorate hers with chili peppers. I was so stumped. Not only do I not own a single chili pepper but I don't craft with them as well. I started off painting her letter white. Then I thought it was too plain so I changed the background to black. Next, I added the stripes and then torn off the tape to get the worn look! As for the chili pepper I didn't know what to do. But I found something to add to it! A fun chili pepper!

My first 4x6 for february

I have been working on a swap for 4x6 Expressions. This swap is the 12 calendar swaps.... This is the first 4x6 I have finished for February!!! With a little bit of this and a little bit of that, i came up with this card!!!

The first time!!!

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time . The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!' The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.' The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'

DANGER DANGER..........................

This is too funny !! Enjoy the laugh !


Can't eat Beef ...... Mad cow


Can't eat chicken .... Bird flu

Can't eat eggs .... Salmonella

Can't eat pork... fears of trichinosis...

Can't eat fish .... heavy metals in the waters has poisoned their meat

Can't eat fruits and veggies ...... insecticides and herbicides

Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

I believe that leaves Chocolate!!!!!!!!

Remember - - - 'STRESSED' spelled backwards! is ' DESSERTS' '

Send this to four people and you will lose 2 kgs (honestly!)

(If you delete this message, you will gain 10 kgs immediately.)

'That's why I had to pass this on - - - - - I didn't want to risk it.

Monthly 4x6 swap

I am participating in a swap of 4x6's every month. With different themes and color schemes at every turn. January's theme was snowmen and blue and silver colors. I sent out these cards.....

And I received back these two cards from Sandi WEdimeier and Diana Speer...

just thought I would share these wonderful cards with you all!

Explain That

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar slowly getting drunk.A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk? The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked.
The farmer then decides to try an answer, "Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over."

"That's not so bad,what's the big deal?"
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."
"So what happened?" the man asked again.
The farmer relenting, continued, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over."
"Again?"
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."
"So, what did you do then?" the man asked, intrigued.
"I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and continued to milk her, and just as I got the bucket just about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."
"Wow, you must have been pretty upset!" but that's no reason to just sit here getting all depressed."
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain."
"So then what else did you do?" the man asked again.
"Well I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. That's when my pants fell down and my wife walked in. Some things you just can't explain."

The wandering drunk

A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar completely drunk. He walks up to the bartender and asks for a drink. The bartender kindly tells the guy he can't give him a drink because he is already drunk. Angry the guy stumbles back out the front door. About five minuters later the guy stumbles through the side door of the bar. He asks the bartender for a drink and once again the bartender tells the guy no because he is already drunk. The guy stumbles back through the side door. A few minutes later the guy stumbles through the bars back door. The guy walks up to the bar, looks at the bartender for a moment then says "Damn man how many bars do you work at?"

Good Citizen Award

So, many of you know my daughter's artwork. Not only is she a great budding artist but she is also a great citizen. She always is courteous and kind and thoughtful. Her teacher says she is generous and genuinly caring for everyone around her. Please and thank you comes naturally to her along with 'yes ma'am' and ' no ma'am'. I am so proud of her for getting noticed with all her good deeds! Here's the award she came home with today! Congrats Emillie!!!

My New Garden!!!

Since I was little I have always had the interest of gardening...

I grew up loving plants: fruits, vegetables, flowers and shrubs. I decided to start my garden on Saturday. I watered the pods and planted 3 seeds in each pod. In some cases 5 seeds. So, I checked on my seeds last night and none were growing. But this afternoon, I checked my seeds to see if they needed water and this is what I saw...

In photo one there are cherry tomatos, cantelope and watermelon.

In photo 2 there are watermelon, peppers (not growing yet) and cherry tomatos!

I am sooo very excited! YEAH!!!!!

Hundreds Attend a Global WArming Protest

Puzzlemania!!!

I got my first 5 pieces back from Tina Swain and I was absolutely blown away! Take a peek!!!

My new project:

So, I was inspired yet again... A friend of mine is altering a puzzle. And I thought what a great idea!!! I wish to frame it, when it is done. Then hang it on the wall of my studio. The only problem is ....I went digging for a puzzle that maybe the kids don't use anymore.Guess what!?! The only one with all its pieces is a 48 piece JumboFloor puzzle. Holy Cow!So, I am asking if anyone wants to decorate a piece of that puzzle forme! I have some people doing a piece for me. But that still leaves the problem of what to do with the other pieces! I will mail you a piece from the puzzle and you can choose which (from the list below) you wish to use for the theme!Email me if you wish to take part in this, with your name, address and what theme you wish to do!

1. Asain

2. fairies

3. flowers

4. blue and black

5. green and purple

6. red and black

7. 8. 9. 10. chinese characters

11. 12. 13. 14. panda

amandapandaskytower @yahoo.com

Thanks in advance

AmandaPanda

Address Book Swap

I thought I would add a few pictures of my address book. This book was designed especially for the swap on my yahoo group. In this group we do many altered crafts. Just to name a few ...

Address Book, Alter a spoon, This for That, Spiral Journals, Altered Puzzles, Calendars, Charm bracelet and message in a bottle!

The motto here is, "If you are the type of person who looks at a box and sees just a box... Then this group is not for you! Here we strive to alter everything! From milk cartons to spoons our world is endless. Join us in our quest to alter our worlds!"

Here is the link if you are interested in taking a peek!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Altered_heArt_Expressions/

How The Giant Panda Got Its Colors

Ancient China: Giant Panda's roam the land giving birth to legends and poems in China's emerging culture. One of the legends is how the Panda got its coloring. “It begins with the panda as a totally white bear. One day a little girl happened to run across a white panda and a leopard fighting. Trying to save the defenseless panda she charged the leopard with a large bamboo shoot, striking him over and over again. The leopard was not hurt by the bamboo and turned on the little girl instead. This act of bravery saved the panda's life but the little girl lost hers in the struggle. All the white pandas held a funeral in honor of the brave little girl and wore black armbands as a sign of mourning. The black dye of the armbands, moistened by many tears from the pandas, began to run. When the pandas wiped their eyes, the armband left black marks. When the pandas consoled each other by hugging, the dye left black spots on their backs. When they covered their ears to block out the sound of crying, the black dye colored their ears. “

A written history of the Xizhou Dynasty (1027-771 BC) described the Giant Panda, or “Pixiu,” as an invincible animal, as strong as a tiger. This description was repeated in the Shijin, the first written collection of poems prepared at about the same time. This sentiment regarding the prowess of the panda may explain, in part, why panda pelts were offered as tribute to emperors and kings of the day. Another reference to the Giant Panda or Zouya was as a gentle animal, since it was never observed to hurt man or beast. The panda became a symbol of peace. In the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644 AD), the panda was described as having great medicinal value. Detailed in a medical tome, the panda's pelt was believed to have a magical influence that could repel plague and prevent tumors. Drinking panda urine was thought to dissolve impurities.

The Giant Panda is also an animal of philosophical importance in Chinese culture. The Giant Panda is thought to be a physical manifestation of the Yin and the Yang, as its body is both black and white, the two colors standing in stark contrast to one another on the animals pelt. The placid nature of the panda is a demonstration of how the Yin and the Yang, when perfectly balanced, contribute to harmony and peace.

Today the Giant Panda is revered as a symbol of peace, friendship, and good luck.

Tarzan

Well, Emillie is a huge fan of Tarzan. Little did you know she has "loved" him since she could say his name! My favorite remembery of this is:

She was 27 months old and little came out of her mouth unless she really meant it! She would carry around her Tarzan book (which was as big as she was at the time) everywhere!

One day I was just getting home from work and she had her book in tote to give me a hug. Once I put her down, she ran to the bathroom to "tinkle". So, me being me, I grabbed my video camera and followed her.

I walk in the bathroom to find her attempting to read the book on her own (on the toilet). I asked her, "What are you doing?" She very matter-of-factly replied, "reading, duh!!!"

So, I asked her how she was able to read the book while it was upside down.

Her responce was classic!

"Mommy, maybe you can't read upside down because only 'smart' people can!"

I could not stop laughing!

So, these APCs were inspired by my memory of her and her infatuation of Tarzan!

Acrylic Fun!!!

So, I have learned to have fun with what I own. Neil is always complaining that I am constantly buying new "crap" for my arts and crafts. So, I agreed to meet him half-way and use up some of images and embellishments and papers I already own, before going out to the craft store again! I have a few acrylic paint colors so I thought I would play around with those tonight! I practiced drawing my pandas. Even though I am not a professional at drawing, I think my pandas came out acceptable. Now, my Simba on the other hand, I have to say it is just awesome! Those of you that know me, know I am a HUGE Disney fan. So, I can draw some disney characters and others I have the best images for! Tell me what you think!!!!

Message in a bottle!

In my Yahoo group Altered heART Expressions Ria started a message In A Bottle swap. Naturally I signed up for this swap. here is my outcome!

Ingredients:

A plastic Bottle, A Cork, A not so real rose, 4x6 paper ( for the message), sand, 8" of ribbon ( for sealing the message and wrapping around the top), seashells ( to place on top of the sand), and some confetti ( to add the final touch)!

What do you think? Whoever receives this will be happy!!!

Thanks Ria for another great idea!!!

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door-pet nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating meto the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is notnecessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.
Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.That's why they call it 'fur'niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like some people.
4. To you, they are an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter whois short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college.
AND......
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children!!

The husband store

Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

That's nice, she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going..

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak..

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.

There are no men on this floor.

This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Beautiful Massachusetts!!!

Dear Diary:
Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Massachusetts . It is so beautiful here. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change in the seasons.
This is truly God's Country.

Oct. 14 - Massachusetts is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the real special places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude of different colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so bright. I want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer. They are so graceful, certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on Earth.
This must be paradise.

Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very symbol of peace and tranquility here in Massachusetts . I hope it snows soon.
I love it here!

Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful sight: everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak tree is magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and swept the snow from the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing. We had a snowball fight. I won, and the snowplow came down the street. He must have gotten too close to the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the end of the driveway again.
What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony. I love it here!

Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute little trick again. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love it here!

Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work in time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow!

Dec. 21 - More of that white shit coming down. I've got blisters on my hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow driver waits around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole.

Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow. If I ever get my hands on the sonofabitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll castrate him.
And why don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this crap??

Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been inside since then, except of course when that SOB "SnowplowHarry" comes by. Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows. Weather man says to expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches is??

Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's coming down it won't melt until the 4th of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and the shithead actually had the balls to come and ask to borrow a shovel! I told him I'd broken 6 already this season.

Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to get some food and a goddamn deer ran out in front of my car and I hit the bastard. It did $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts ought to be killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you ask me.

Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today. The rain turned the snow into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak tree in the front yard and it went through the roof. I should have cut that old piece of shit into fireplace wood when I had the chance.

May 23 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that damn salt they dump on the road? Car looks like a bashed up, heap of rusted cow shit.

June 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to Florida . I can't imagine why anyone in their freakin'mind would ever want to live in the God forsaken State of Massachusetts .

Learn how to spell even if you're in the 3rd grade

PLEASE TELL YOUR CHILDREN THAT SPELLING IS IMPORTANT, EVEN FOR THIRD GRADERS!

Now Quit complaining that you're Cold!!

This incredible spectacle you are about to see, takes place in Versoix, a town close to Geneva City, Switzerland.

The water in the background is Leman Lake.

Can you identify with any of the following?

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . That will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.